School has begun and life has resumed to "normal". It has taken awhile to get back into the routine of things - getting up early, being on my feet all day, talking to eighteen children, and so on. Some days are easier than others, but Christ gives me the strength I need for each day.
I am blessed to have two new students join my class. Two more boys, one from Korea and one from California, bring the grand total to eighteen. Eighteen kids who bring energy, excitement, frustration, and love to my days. As Christmas vacation came to a close, the separation from my students began to get to me. I never knew how much I would miss them; what am I going to do when we say good-bye for the summer?!
Since kindergarten, I have wanted to be a teacher; mostly, because I loved telling others what to do and I loved writing on the white board. In high school I began to realize the power teachers have - for the good and for the bad. College taught me how to teach. Now finally, I have my own classroom full of my own students. Half way through my first year it finally feels real. No longer does it feel like I am playing school like I did so many days as a kid. I use to dream of standing in front of a class and filling their brains with knowledge; I use to dream of using those colorful markers to write on that smooth white surface; I use to dream of being an influence in children's lives. Now that the day has come that all my dreams are coming true, it is...different. I am tired, I always feel like I am one step away from being sick, I have a new found love for being alone, I have decided that chocolate is indeed a food group and a crucial one to my sanity, I find myself referring to myself as "Miss Jorgenson" in random conversations, the list could go on. The reality is, teaching is hard and being a grown up is even harder. How did my parents make it look so easy?! I have only been a grown up for about seven months (I am counting from college graduation), so maybe I should give myself a bit of a break? Much of what we learn is through simply living and experiencing.
No matter, Psalm 46 tells us "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help." This truth is one I am clinging to. There is no way I can do all God has called me to without the His strength. As each day passes, God amazes me at his generosity and his sustaining power. Whether it was a lesson going very well or it was a hug from one of my kids, God never fails to help me. Help me in my job, help me see how much I am loved, see how much He loves me, or just help me see Him. God never fails!